


Bad Ideas

by orphan_account



Category: Captain Underpants Series - Dav Pilkey
Genre: F/M, cool beans, the sex doesn't happen but they get pretty close
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 07:34:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13406463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Edith and Krupp get up to some stuff in an office chair.





	Bad Ideas

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was fun. Thank you for this prompt, anon. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

“I think this might be a bad idea.”

Even as the words left Krupp’s mouth, his lips were back on her neck, rolling his hips into hers as his fingers dug into soft skin. The only response he got was a moan, arms wrapping tighter around him as he sucked another dark mark into Edith’s clavicle to match the one just next to it. Krupp felt her nails digging into his upper arm as the hand holding his head gripped harder, held him closer to her. The dying light that bled through the curtains cast strange shadows across the room, cast a spell upon Edith’s skin that made it look like she was on fire, and maybe it was just in his head, but every time he kissed her, he swore it burned, and so the tangled knot they had become in his office chair only grew tighter still.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. They’d worked so hard to keep everything kosher at work, but not even fifteen minutes ago, Edith had wandered in just to ask about- about- he couldn’t even remember, not with her hot breath in his ear and her heartbeat in his mouth. The last thing he could clearly recall was the taste of her on his lips as she trapped him between her thighs in his desk chair.

Thank god the school was empty, because-but he didn’t want to think about that.

Krupp’s hands slid back and down, slipping under her underwear to give a vicious squeeze, and the squeal she made wiped the thought from his mind as she bucked back into his grip and then down, hard. He grit his teeth against the explosion of starts behind his eyes as he ran his hands back down Edith’s thighs, tugging at her knees to bring her closer to him again. She kissed him then, her ferocity slamming his head against the back of the chair. Grunting with surprise, he wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of teeth and tongue, and with his throat bared to her as he lifted his face to meet hers, he could feel her fingers ghosting up his neck, wrapping around the back has her thumbs skidded across his adam’s apple. Up, up, further still they crept, until finally, her fingertips brushed the shell of his ears and dug gently into the dip of skin just beneath.

Krupp shivered, grinning like an idiot. He knew he never should have told her he liked it when she did that. She used it against him too often.    

“Thought-” a loose giggle slipped from Edith’s mouth and into his, “Thought you said- this was- a bad idea.”

“It is,” Krupp muttered, preoccupied with the buttons on the front of her dress. Hands shaking too much to do anything of use, it wasn’t until Edith lifted her own to assist that any of the buttons actually came undone. He could nothing but stare at her, her face, her eyes catching that slant of sun, as his hands idly ran up and down her thighs.

"No one needs to know,” she murmured, smiling softly as her hands moved to undo the clasp of her bra behind her, “No one will know. It's not like we're doing this in front of the other teachers, or the superintendent."

Krupp shuddered, gripping her knees tightly in his hands as something heavy seemed to land in his chest, “No, i-it’s not.”

“We just have to clean up afterwards and make sure,” the bra came away as Edith said this, sleeves falling softly as she dropped it onto a pile of grant paperwork that had been sitting on his desk all afternoon. The weight in his chest threatened to break his ribs, even as he felt his dick twitch.

“I-” he swallowed, closing his eyes, though it did little to help the image that had now burned itself into his brain, “I’d really rather not.”

“…You’d rather let the janitor-?”

“No! That’s not what I meant!”

But Edith laughed, cutting him off before he continued with a gentle peck. Even then, that was followed by another, and another, until the pretense of gentility had once again dissolved. Slow, languishing kisses passed between them, broken only by sighs and coos. Krupp’s hands slowly worked their way up her thighs again, up her waist, across her stomach, until they found their way to her chest along with his mouth. Kissing and licking one breast while his thumb idly ran across the other, with Edith breathing heavy in his ear, still, under all that, Krupp’s mind whirled.

Was the janitor suppose to be in today?

No, they were in last week. They came in on a rotating schedule.

But this was the final day before a three day weekend. Did they change their schedules for three day weekends? He couldn’t remember- he couldn’t quite-

He let the nipple between his teeth slip out as he pulled back, and he relished in the way Edith shuddered, rolling her hips again, before he went to attend to the other.

Her bra was on his paperwork. It was right there on the desk- right there. That was par for the course though, with her sitting half naked in his lap, his hand prints on her ass, his mouth at her breast. If someone walked in, now, there would be no denying this. One the one hand, he didn’t care- he really didn’t, but that was slowly being dwarfed by the absolute terror that was starting to well up within him.

What if it was a coworker?

What if it was a child?

The school was empty, he was sure of it, but in his mind’s eye he could see them, the both of them, tangled and sweating from the vantage point of his doorway. Were someone to find them like this, it would be the absolute end of over twenty years of service in public education. Goodbye certification. Goodbye everything.

Krupp pulled back, sighing as Edith once again ground down against him, “We can’t- we really can’t.”

“You still worried about that mess?” she laughed, mouth still close to his ear, and the hot breath that ran down his neck made him shiver, “I told you, we can clean up.”

“W-what if we miss something? What-”

He wasn’t expecting her to catch his earlobe in her teeth, to bite, to tug.

The moan that tore from his throat surprised even him. In the split second of silence that followed, he clapped a hand over his mouth, looking anywhere but at Edith as his face grew flushed.

Her laughter echoed, and the weight on his chest pressed further still.

“You know,” there was a curl to her words, a looping, slithering kind of twist, and when Krupp finally managed to face Edith again, he was met with a hunger in her eyes he still wasn’t quite accustomed to, “I think I have a way out of this problem.”

Krupp didn’t reply, but apparently, she wasn’t looking for him too. Her hands trailed down his chest, fingers hooking through the front two belt loops of his pants. He could feel his dick twitching, straining against its confines, and Edith must have felt it too, because the smile that had been playing on her lips turned predatory.

“I could just swallow.”

The entirety of Krupp seemed to short circuit. The white noise that had slowly been engulfing his brain went still. Gaping, he watched her slowly detangle herself from him, slipping to the floor where she arranged herself on spread knees. She looked up at him through her lashes, biting her lip as she raised her hands and-

And-

He couldn’t do this.

Krupp caught them mid-air, holding tight at the wrist as he took a deep breath through his teeth, “No.”

She stopped then, dumbfounded. In a panic, he leaned in close, tripping over his words, “I- I can’t- this is a school- with children. We can’t. I can’t do this Edith I can’t. Please-anywhere else I wouldn’t care-”

“I thought-?”

“I know,” and he shook her hands, resting his forehead against them as he did so, “I know- I know. And I get that it’s too late to say this but-”

“It’s not too late,” her hands shifted in his grip, moving to hold his cheeks as she brought her lips to his forehead, “It’s not too late. We can stop.”

But Krupp’s mind was running a mile a minute, let loose by the words that had finally made their way out of his mouth. Terrifying images swirled through his brain one after the next, worst possible outcomes. Tiny hands on the door knobs with eyes wide- he’d never forgive himself. Even though it was just his panic talking, and truly, it was, disgust still bubbled up in his stomach, souring his tongue and making his hands shake.

“Hey,” Edith whispered, “Hey, look at me, come on.”

It took a moment, but he finally managed, hands moving to cover hers on either side of his face.

“Do you want me to get dressed?”

“…Please.”

“Alright,” and with a swift kiss, she pulled back, standing up to reach for her bra. Krupp watched her put herself back together, making quick work of the clasps and buttons. Still, his shaking hands would not rest, and so he stood to fix the stacks of papers that had fallen and bled into one another, refusing to make eye contact with Edith even when he felt her gaze burning holes into his skin.

This was stupid, this was so stupid. He shouldn’t have let it go this far. Or, really, he shouldn’t be worried in the first place. It’s not like anyone else would turn down the chance of getting their dick sucked in their office. She clearly wasn’t worried. He was just-

“I think the corners are straight enough, Ben.”

Jumping slightly, he put down the stack of papers he had been fiddling with, chewing on his tongue as he looked at the clock, “It’s- wow, it’s a lot later than I thought-”

“Ben-”

“Listen, I know your soaps start soon, so it might be good if-”

“Benjamin-”

“So I’ll just drive you home and-”

“Benjamin Krupp, for the love of god, will you just look me in the eye for a second? Please?”  

He winced, steeling his nerves before finally looking at Edith. With her hands on her hips like that, it only took him a split second to convince himself she was angry, and his false calm cracked, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t do this- I-”

“Woah, woah, hey-,” she moved to him, holding out her hands, “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“But-”

“No buts. There’s nothing to be sorry for, not from you and not from me. We’ll just both know for next time, okay?”

Edith took his hands in hers. Her thumbs played in the space between his knuckles, gently pushing in against the tension there. Taking a deep breath, Krupp held it in his lungs until it burned, and he let it out slowly between his teeth before muttering, “I should have told you sooner.”

“And I should have picked up on it sooner. We all make mistakes.”

“But-”

“I told you,” and here she kissed his cheek, just a quick peck, “No buts. It’s okay. Nothing happened. We’re okay.”

Krupp took another deep breath, holding it as he nodded, resting his forehead against hers while he let it out slowly, counting the seconds until a quiet, “Thank fuck," slipped between his teeth. 

Edith giggled quietly at that, “Sometimes, we can be lucky.”

“Yeah, but not lucky enough, and I don’t want to push it.”

He felt her nod, soft hair scrunching against his skin as she mumbled, “You wanna just- I dunno, take a breather? Watch the news or something?”

“Here?”

“I’d rather you calm down now than let you try to drive. Don’t much feel like dying, honey.”

Krupp gave a tepid smiled, squeezing her hands, “Yeah…yeah that would be good.”  


End file.
